Recently I realized that I’m a depressive person, maybe it’s a medical condition, maybe it’s just that I grew up in a very negative environment. Anyhow, after two years on trying to face my fears, I think I’ve finally taken a step forward.

To me, succeeding in  my career and  achieving  happiness  go hand  in  hand, the  problem  is that  I’ve always  sabotaged  myself. Putting  this  issue  aside,  I’ve  been  so  scared  of  not  being good  at  something,  that  I’ve  postponed  everything, either  that  or  I  haven’t  been constant  in  whatever  I  do,  including  this  blog.  But  it’s  not  as  bad  as  it sounds, I’ve  worked  very  hard  on  literally  reprogramming my  attitude  towards  life  and  now  I  can  say  that  I’m  finally  feeling  good,  I’m  not  worried  about  what  people  think  of  me, I’m not worried about getting recognition, I’m not thinking if I’m good or not, I’m just working.

Fuerte bacalar
The fort of Bacalar

I’m    starting   to  feel  free   and   it couldn’t  come   in  a  better  time,  since  now   my  projects   are   starting  to  get  real. As   I   write,  my husband   and  I  are  about  to  launch  a  campaign  to  collect   money   for   our   first  serious  short film, not  only  that,  we  are   writing two  screenplays  for  two  different horror   film  festivals,  we  have  sent  another  script  to  other  major   international  festivals, and  we also  sent  a  low-budget  short  film  we  did  with  a  couple  of  friends.  In  my  photography  career,  I’m mastering the use of flashes and loosing  my  fear  of  working  on  photoshop,  I  was  even  able  to  do  the  teaser  poster  for  our latests short, it may not be awesome, but it’s not bad. There’s a lot going on, we haven’t gotten any results yet, but I’m confident we will.

Neda Ruscic

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2 thoughts on “Another step forward

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