I succeded

I was convinced that I would be successful once I could have a career in photography or in writing. Things weren’t working out as planned, so I created this blog to write about the frustrations and depressions that came every time something failed. You see, I am a depressive person and I’ve struggling with that most of my life. That’s why a couple of years ago I started a healing process, or something like it. Then, something happened that closed that circle.

Last month my grandmother had to go through a pulmonar surgery and I went to my hometown to visit her. It was the first trip I’ve made without my husband in years, and although I was with my family the whole time, I was very aware that I was also alone (emotionally alone if you know what I mean). The house was full of grumpy women (including me) and to endure the hurtful comments, I had to learn to first love myself and then love them, no matter what they said. By doing that, I started to get at peace and everything went smoothly. That feeling followed me home. Now I realize that I’m successful because I finally learned to be happy. I don’t mean the joyful kind of happy, I mean the kind of happiness in which you find inner peace, you become loving, brave and mature.

I am successful because I am happy. I am happy because I love, I love my family and friends but first I love myself. I am happy because I love what I do, I love taking pictures and writing, I love telling stories that make you dream of something different. I am happy because I don’t care what people think of me. I am happy because I learned to control my ego. I am happy because I am not afraid of anything, I know I’ll die someday for sure. I’m happy because I am me and I’m alive.

Although there is no absolute cure for depressive disorders and I’ll probably get blue once in a while, I know that I’ll be feeling a lot better from now on. Maybe I should change the name of the blog to: On the exciting way to success.

Also, I don’t have lots of readers (I suck at marketing), so if you are reading my mumbo jumbo, I want to thank you for taking the tame in doing so. Thank you very, very much.

Here’s my favorite picture of the trip and if you’d like to see the whole album, you can check at my Flickr.

Neda Ruscic

A little boy in Coyoacán
A little boy in Coyoacán